Episode 072 – Why You Lie About Money In Your Relationships (And How To Fix It With Radical Honesty) | Tuulia Syvänen

Episode 072 – Why You Lie About Money In Your Relationships (And How To Fix It With Radical Honesty) | Tuulia Syvänen

Hello FI people! Today we talk about a method that will help you to remove money as a source of stress from your relationships with friends, coworkers, family and your spouse. We all lie several times each day to avoid conflicts, in order to not hurt somebody, avoid shame, judgement and try to manage other peoples feelings without even being asked. Tuulia is one of the first certified radical honesty coaches and is leading workshops across Europe with her partner Pete from Amsterdam. Do you want to stay true and honest when talking about money in relationships to take them to a far deeper level? Then keep listening and learn about radical honesty by the examples Tuulia will mention in this episode. Enjoy!
If you like the episode then leave us some feedback about it in our blog at financial-independence.eu or in our Facebook Group that you can find at https://financial-independence.eu/community.

We also talk about:

  • Completion talks
  • Assumptions about money
  • AI and the art of knowing ourselves
  • How rich and poor people face money judgement
  • Inheriting money beliefs
  • Kids and honesty

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What is Radical Honesty

At its core, Radical Honesty is a very simple concept: when you’re radically honest with someone, you tell them what you feel, what you’ve done or plan to do and what you really think. Being radically honest means telling the truth all. the. time. and losing that internal filter that tells you to keep certain things ― usually knotty and emotionally complicated things ― to yourself. Tuulia shows us this concept with examples of how it translates in real-life situations within our relationships.

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Why money is often a taboo

Very often people are not open about money-related topics in their relationships with partners, friends, colleagues and so on. Tuulia observes how this behaviour is rooted in our culture, not to be open about how much money we have, how do we earn it etc. A strong example is inheritance: in many families there’s no conversation about it at all, and people often find themselves with money they didn’t know about and they are not prepared to handle it. This behaviour can last for years and can seriously damage relationships in the long run, and Radical Honesty can be a valuable tool to dismantle it.

Radical Honesty in business relationships

Not being open about money is a behaviour that can also be seen in business relationships, for example between business owners. When we don’t raise discussions about money topics we generate all kinds of assumptions and misunderstandings. Also in companies there are a lot of fears about money and how one can be judged based on it, and that can really make the workplace a very bad environment and waste lots of time and resources: again, being honest and having open conversations about it could greatly improve both the working conditions and the company’s performance.

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